Tuesday, January 06, 2015

When We Can't See



This New Year begins for me with a lot of uncertainty. Right now I don’t know what the future holds. At the end of last year, my husband and I felt a very clear call from God to move our family back to the United States, after almost seven years living and working in Zambia.  When God calls and moves, we will answer and follow. We will make every effort to choose His path. But it’s not always easy. It can be really hard. It can really hurt. Right now, we are jobless and homeless.  In a holding pattern, we are waiting on God to show us which path to take.  Maybe you can relate. Maybe you find it difficult to make resolutions or even plans this New Year because you just can’t see past today.

In this place where I find myself at the start of this new year, all I can do is submit myself, my family, my situation to God and wait. The only resolution I know to make is to live coram Deo (under the gaze of God).

Living coram Deo is to live one’s entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God.
 
To live in the presence of God is to understand that whatever we are doing and wherever we are doing it, we are acting under the gaze of God. God is omnipresent. There is no place so remote that we can escape His penetrating gaze.   ~R.C. Sproul
 
In Genesis 17:1 “the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, ‘I am God Almighty; Walk before Me, and be blameless.’”

Walk BEFORE Me

This word translated BEFORE is the Hebrew word Paniym, which means in front of, before, to the front of, in the presence of, in the face of.

Coram Deo

If I have envisioned myself walking with God, it has usually been a picture of walking beside Him or even behind Him and following His lead. But when I think of God’s command to walk before Him, the picture changes.

If God were only ever walking ahead of me, leading the way, following would be a pretty straight-forward, easy thing to do. I could do it with my ipod blaring and distractions all around me, because I would just have to follow in His footsteps. He is the Shepherd and His rod and staff guide me. And sometimes our walk is like that.
Walking before Him, on the other hand, takes careful attention. I must be completely tuned in to His voice so that I will hear His leading. I must trust that He is watching my every step and that I am safe under His gaze, even though I cannot see Him with my eyes.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,
your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,
“This is the way; walk in it.”  
Isaiah 30:21
 
This New Year I will focus on listening. I will tune in to the voice of God behind me. I will walk forward trusting in His guidance. I will delight in the fact that His gaze is upon me. I will remember His faithfulness in the past and look to the future with great hope! Living coram Deo!

For You have delivered my soul from death,
Indeed my feet from stumbling,
so that I may walk before God
in the light of the living.
Psalm 56:13
 
Live Free. Live Loved.
 
~Kerri